Dialysis 101

 Feb 5, 2004

  Gregs first dialysis treatment lasted about 6 hrs because were so many toxins to remove from his blood. His lab work is somewhat improved today but still in a very dangerous range. They will dialyze him for 3 days straight. This whole scenario reminds me that our lives are a mere breath and our stay on this earth over in the blink of an eye. It's so important that our hearts and minds are stayed upon God cause he is the only one that can heal or deliver us. We personally need him more than we ever have before right now.

My husband my heart aches for all you must endure but I still believe God is in control of the universe. I will trust him with your life and my own.

Our children are at home. The ones that understand are anxious and afraid. My heart hurts for them. Key is only a toddler. I pray his dad will get to see him grow into a young man one day. I know throughout life two parents are important to the emotional stability and well being of a child even once they become an adult. So many families are broken and out of the will of God I'm grateful ours is intact because this would be such a hard situation for anyone to go through alone. I thank God for his grace his glory and his peace as he is with us through this trial.

Feb 12, 2004

  I'm trying to coordinate Gregs discharge from the hospital right now even though its days away. I must make a call to Da Vita in Santa Ana to reserve a dialysis chair for him. The dietician goes over with me what Greg can and cannot eat. He will not like all the restrictions that he must keep. He is a wild child and it will be hard for him to comply but with my help not totally impossible. I will do my best to keep him alive and to help him be as healthy as possible. Today the serenity prayer is strong on my heart especially the part that says " God help me to accept the things that I can and cannot change and give me the wisdom to know the difference" that's exactly where I am. I call upon God continually for Greg to be strong and for me to also be along with him. I stood by Greg through many years of alcoholism and a period of drug use,  I certainly will not jump ship now. 

  When we married my husband and I took a vow that said "We'd stand by each other in sickness and health". We took that vow seriously and we said it before God. I never knew we would encounter all of this at the time. I guess we just don't think that far ahead in life. My heart is heavy for what lies ahead but I will do my best to keep my word to my husband and to God. Greg was not raised by parents that honored committment or marriage but I was. I just pray that what the enemy intended for evil (ESRD) God will use for his glory. May he strengthen our marriage and the bond we share as husband and wife through this tremendous trial.  I love you my dear husband with all my heart. I am one with you and when you hurt so do I. When two people come together they become one flesh. Greg and I are one and we will face this together with the Lord God leading us. My tongue will proclaim your righteousness your praises all day long Psalm 35:28

Feb 14, 2004

Gregs mom came to the hospital the day before yesterday. It's hard because she has always had an intense hatred for me. She says mean and sarcastic things to me like she thinks I'm somehow responsible for Gregs kidney disease. She ignores that her daughter has it also so it's obviously hereditary or that Greg has a long history of alcoholism and hypertension. She does not seem to appreciate that love that I have for her son. She felt our children were born to trap him when I know its true that each one was sent by God. We will prepare for discharge today and I know our lives will not be the same once we leave here. I'm tired I'm weary and I miss my children. I'm wounded from all that's happened but by the grace of God I will continue to stand. Thanks to all my friends for lifting us up in prayer. He has given us the strength to carry on. 

Feb 18, 2004

Greg went for his first dialysis at DaVita today. There was no parking and he is still sick (although improved) and weak. It was all he could do to make it home as dialysis wipes you out and makes you very sleepy. A doctor gave him a hard time about not accepting a fistula in his arm. I support Greg in whatever he wants as this is his body and its not for this doctor to decide. I feel I must investigate the possibilities of other treatment options as Greg is to sick to do this for himself. I'm totally overwhelmed Lord help us to feel your perfect peace, your love and your power!

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I will keep my eyes always on the Lord with him at my right hand I will not be shaken. Psalm 16: 7-8

Jan 20, 2006

I'm finding new methods of dialysis for Greg. Working in the hospital has opened my eyes to other possibilities. I'm investigating peritoneal dialysis. It seems a better option for Greg. He will be healthier on it but it's hard to access without a nephrologists support and approval. I know I must fight and I'm praying for the strength to stand against the opposition.

Feb 04, 2006

My husband I will fight for you. The doctors feel they have more control with you on in Center dialysis even though you will not be as healthy. They continually push for the fistula but you are strong and do not give in easily. I will stand with you but I realize this battle belongs to God not us. I enlist the help of others to pray for breakthrough and favor with Dr Glazier for a port to do PD through. Thanks Judy and Joe for praying and making our requests known to God.